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Private Placement Adoption FAQs Are there many children who need adoptive homes? In 2010, there were 52,981 children adopted from foster care and in FY 2014, 6,441from overseas. Domestic infant adoption statistics were not available.  However, we know that direct parental placement adoption is popular with birth parents. How long does it take to adopt? According to a 2012-2013 reader survey by Adoptive Families magazine, 66% of families who adopted in the U.S. received a referral less than one year after they completed their paperwork. What are the benefits of private adoption? A large benefit is that you are usually present for the birth of the child and begin to bond with the child in the hospital.  The baby is discharged directly to you instead of to interim caregivers as in an agency placement.  A simultaneous meeting in which you meet the birth mother and exchange information on the child is required for private adoption.  The information obtained in this face –...

With the growth in families of Indian origin living in Loudoun County, Virginia, where I practice, I wanted to take the time to provide current information on what it takes to adopt a child from India. My assistant Brittany Alness and I had the pleasure of talking with Jane Lee and Sue Orban from the Children’s Home Society of Minnesota- CHSM ,  a Hague accredited adoption agency.  Jane is the senior program manager for Bulgaria, India and Korea and Sue is the outreach and intake coordinator.   We learned that there are 3 different program types: India Heritage Program, Traditional India Program, and Relative Adoption Program India Heritage Program : This is for families that have one prospective parent that is a non-resident Indian (NRI) and has a valid Indian passport or is an overseas citizen (OCI) of India. - Although the Central Adoption Resource Authority (CARA) of India has been inconsistent in practice, it does promote that favor be given to N...

Just the other day we found a short blog from Creating a Family on the s tupid things people say about adoption . We will share with you a few things people have actually said out loud to someone who has adopted, considered adoption or are in the process of adopting: “You can’t register here because you are not really expecting.” (Said to a soon-to-be adoptive mom when she tried to register at Babies“R”Us.) “I couldn't love a child that wasn't mine. I just don’t get why people would want to adopt.” “You never know what you are going to get when you adopt!” and this little jewel:  “Why would you want to adopt someone else’s reject?” “If you adopt from foster care, the child will go back to their bio family just as soon as they are old enough.” “You’re doing it the easy way.” (Said to a women who was having a rough adoption journey after a long struggle with infertility.) We were amazed at the lack of sensitivity sometimes displayed toward adoptive parents to be.  As prospective...

Adopting an older child I often hear families express doubt as to their ability to parent an older adopted child. I found the following article from NCFA,  Preparation and Support for Older Child Adoptions: NCFA Survey and Conference Feedback, Y: JAMEL ROWE, WITH MELISSA BLAUVELT AND RHONDA JAREMA,  to contain valuable insights and suggestions. What should I expect? You should know that once your child comes home, they are carrying lots of history with them.  Some trauma, abuse or neglect are normal. Older children are going to carry with them a lot more than a younger child typically would.  Parenting these older children will not necessarily come easily but the experience will be so rewarding.        ***Tip*** "Empathy, understanding the thoughts and feelings of another, is a learned skill, and grows only through consistent practice and follow-through.   It is an especially important skill for adoptive parents to acquire."  "First unde...

Re-homing or Unregulated Child Custody Transfers is a hot topic today.  Who can forget the story of the woman who sent her seven year old adopted child back to Russia on a place because she could not parent him?  The Reuters article depicted situations where adopted children were placed informally with child predators without the proper legal processes or vetting of the second family.  Most adoptions are successful and the child and adoptive family blend to create a new whole. However, this is a process which takes time and expertise.  Too often, families who adopt older children in particular experience unique challenges and receive little support.  Without this support, we sometimes see desperate families seeking alternative placements for their adopted children which are not likely to be successful and may actually be dangerous to the child. The family may be charged with child abandonment and the child will not have services which are critically important to...

Making Adoption Affordable Federal Tax Credit There is help available.  The federal Adoption Tax Credit provides up to $13,400 for qualifying expenses paid to adopt an eligible child in 2015.  The credit is indexed for inflation and will increase annually.  Eligible expenses include adoption fees, court costs, attorney fees, traveling expenses (including amounts spent for meals and lodging) and other expenses directly related to your adoption.  There is an income limit for this credit. See www.irs.gov , for the forms and additional information.                       Corporate Matching Gifts Further, many large employers offer adoption assistance.  See htttp://benefits.adoption.com/ for a list of employers.  Those payments may qualify for exclusion from your income for tax purposes in addition to the federal tax credit.  You may exclude up to $13,400...

Children who are older when adopted are at heightened risk of disruption or dissolution.  They bring life experiences and trauma to the family which have to be navigated carefully.  However, it is possible for an older adoptee integrate into the new family. Dr. Gary Matloff,  a licensed psychologist and nationally certified school psychologist, wrote an insightful article entitled, " The Twelve Commandments of Parenting Older Adopted Children " which provides some solutions for this process. Note that not all twelve commandments will be mentioned in the blog, just the ones we wanted to highlight.  There is a link at the bottom if you wish to read the entire article. Abandonment should never be threatened                                         -It only reinforces fear and non-acceptance, and leads to the child's mindset         ...