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Marie* talks about step parent adoption, revealing how her husband's adoption of her daughter made them feel more like a family: 1.       What made you want to adopt? "We chose to do a step parent adoption as the final legal detail in an already established father/daughter relationship. My husband and I were married when my daughter was 2 and she has never known anyone else but him as her father and we felt it was important for all of us to be a cohesive family sharing one last name."   2. What was your process like when going through the steps of adoption? "A bit nerve racking, but we had faith and confidence that we were doing the right thing" .  3.       How long had the child been a part of your family before making the adoption final? "She is my birth daughter and my husband came into our lives right after her 2nd birthday" . 4. How did you come to the decision to adopt? Did your daughter get a vote? "Our daughte...

A common fear for parents that have adopted is they are afraid to discipline their child too harshly.  The fear comes from the feeling that their child has already been through so much that the child needs more love than boundaries.  Another common feeling is the fear of further damaging their ego.   While these fears are understandable you still have a child to raise and hopefully, send out to the world as a healthy adult. You have to set boundaries, rules and guidelines as you do with any other child. The teenage years are already a mess of hormones and peer pressure and trying to figure out identity, especially as an adopted child.  However, limits need to be set and they increase the child's sense of security and belonging in the family if done in the correct way.  Parents often fear the word “no” but if your answer to something really is “no” then you should say it. In a recent podcast interview , Dawn Davenport talked with Katie Naftzer  about th...

Step Parent Adoption: What are the steps? Are there specific rules to follow? There are really practical reasons to pursue a step parent adoption, such as everyone in the family having the same name.  Or allowing the new parent to authorize medical care, help a teen obtain a driver's license, or to interact with the child's school.  In some instances, the child's biological parent is not available and it just makes sense to have both parents in the home have legal recognition as the child's parent. Step Parent Adoption is the most common form of adoption.   Often times when a parent remarries, the new spouse will become more of a parent to the child than the child’s birth parent.   If the child’s birth parent has had little to no contact with the child or is willing to sign a consent, then the process for the step parent adoption is relatively easy. Other scenarios which are fairly straightforward are when the identity of the biological parent is unknown or that par...

After you have decided you want to adopt domestically, you must create an adoption profile .   An adoption profile is a book that an expectant mother can go through in order to learn about you and your family to see if she wants to place her child into your home.   For some, this could be a stressful process: what do I put in it? Do I mention I am a hockey fan? How about pictures?   There are so many different questions that could be running through your mind.   Here are a few helpful tips for you and your family when putting together a great adoption profile. One: It is all in your tone.   While waiting to be chosen to be adoptive parents, you will come across   different expecting mothers looking through your profile.   One may be a 15 year old girl just starting high school, another may be a single mom in her 30s that already has 3 kids; there are many reasons why expectant mothers turn to adoption.   Due to the fact that you don’t know every s...

https://www.adoptivefamilies.com/adoption-process/coping-failed-adoption-match/ Adoptive Families has highlighted several personal stories of prospective parents and their grief of when a birth mother has a "change of heart" and decides to parent the child instead of going through the adoption process.  They put together a system of how to cope with the loss. Here are some insights from this valuable article: . Take time to grieve- Allow yourself to go through the stages of grief.  If you can take time off work and if you don't want to answer the many questions people will ask, share with a friend and have them get the word out before you return. Accept help-  This is an extremely emotional time, open up to your trusted friends and family.  Talk to a mental health professional-  Make sure to find someone that specializes in grief, loss, infertility etc. Realize that people grieve in different ways-  It's okay if you feel like you can't go back to work yet,...